Facts.

Facts.

Look. I’ve been meaning to get this off my chest.
A while back I talked about how I love everything Nicki Menaj does…
While I still enjoy mouthing the words, “RAH, RAH, LIKE A DUNGEON DRAGON” as I plug away at a steady 3.8 on the treadmill..
I must admit that I’d never actually heard her speak before writing that little piece.
I happened to catch an episode of American Idol a couple
Turns out, I can barely look at her, and listening to what she has to say makes me want to core my ear canal with a melon baller.
She’s the worst.
She makes me like Mariah Carey.
There. I said it.

Things I don’t hate:
Lana Del Rey.
Pumpkin spice cookies.
Bizarre Foods America with Andrew Zimmern.
Girls (the show, and the species)
Drake lyrics. Particularly: “I wear all of my chains even when I’m in the house.”
Farms and dairies.
Wine reduction sauces.
Plush carpeting.
Springtime.
Huey Lewis and the News.
This guy.
babychinchilla
Janet Jackson’s janet. album.
Old episodes of Martin.
Whale vomit.
Pink leather jackets.
Salt and pepper gray.
Eating babies. (suckling pig, kid, lamb, etc.)
Pretending to eat person babies.
Underwater toads that be birthin’ they babies from they backs. SURINAM.
New office supplies.
Spanish moss.
Murmurations.
Marmosets.

Things I don’t enjoy as much:
Any internet comments sections.
Saliva independent of the human body.
People that talk more than they listen.
Broken promises.

9 Comments

  1. Monger 6 years ago

    Has you eaten the pumpkin spice cookies. I think of them from time to time.

  2. Author
    druncass 6 years ago

    ALL OF THEM. ALL OF THE COOKIES.
    For breakfast, some days.
    I ate the dough, too.
    And ate one that scalded my mouth.

  3. Monger 6 years ago

    they must have been delish to warrant all of the yelling. But that could be the faux angst…
    A good pumpkin cookie would be worth the scald.

    I has jealousy. For cookies.

  4. Author
    druncass 6 years ago

    It was like, a second out of the oven.
    Totally worth it.

  5. Beth 6 years ago

    Isn’t treadmill supposed to be on list 2?

    I personally don’t enjoy so much blogs that require me to pull out 2 hands worth of fingers and perform complex math equations in order to post a comment. It’s fuckin algebra, Cass!!!

    • Author
      druncass 6 years ago

      No shit! I seriously can’t log on 35% of the time. (probably not 35% at all, but who can do math?!)
      And treadmills are okay. I feel kind of empowered on a treadmill. Plus, I get to listen to my jams, and picture myself doing dance routines.
      It’s hard not to break out in one while I’m there……
      Do I know better? Yes. I would fly off that machine faster than the troll from Cat’s Eye flew off that record player into the fan.

  6. Beth 6 years ago

    I feel like a gerbil on them and they make me feel pukey (i get motion sickness on stationary crap). I LOVE to dance though! We keep talkin Zumba. They also have this new Bokwa class where apparently you’re like making letters with your dance moves?? That makes me think lame, but when I watched it on youtube it actually looked pretty stupid fun!

  7. Author
    druncass 6 years ago

    Bokwa? Now you’re talking crazy.
    You know what I REALLY want to do? Some kickboxing shit.
    Or some hardcore ass kicking class.
    I want to punch some shit. Be angry in public. Doesn’t the thought thrill you!!?!?

  8. Beth 6 years ago

    Body Combat!!! Wanna do it? I’m totally game! (er, I’m totally out of shape too…I’ve just been walking…kinda slowly with the dog.) But heck yes I’d love to kick the shit outta some shit! Even if it kicks the shit outta me first!

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