Chinatown, Chicago.

Chinatown, Chicago.

I can’t believe I have never been to Chinatown.
I have been to a few Chinatowns in other states, but not Illinois.
Wisconsin for sure doesn’t have one.
Jessica and I decided to take her twins down for the day to eat dim sum, and so I could take some pictures.
We never did eat dim sum.
I think that has mostly to do with the fact that we stopped in to a couple of bakeries, and ate some more loaves of bread.
I seriously think I had enough bread this weekend to feed China itself.
I’m thinking zero carbs for the next hundred months should reverse everything that happened to my body this weekend.
It was not happy with me, to say the least.
It’s interesting what diet does to your emotional state..
I noticed a difference right away.
A general malaise, if you will.
I saw a lot of shit in Chinatown that paid for the self-loathing.
We went to new Chinatown first.
It’s an extension of the old, a few blocks away..
And built in a strip mall kind of way.

We went to a few places there..
One was Jessica’s favorite bakery, Saint Anna’s.
They sell all the delicious buns filled with coconut, or different meats.
Ham and egg, BBQ pork, ham and cheese, beef..

The ham and cheese was by far my favorite.
It was this flat rectangle of ham with processed American cheese.
I can totally get down like that.
I looked for it at a few other bakeries, and didn’t find it.

There were a lot of fancy medicinal spots there.
I do enjoy a colorful, and neatly kept display.
I got yelled at after taking this picture.
I don’t know why someone telling you that pictures aren’t allowed is so intimidating.
Playing stupid is always a great fall back, and it’s not like there’s physical violence.

Jessica’s husband has a bad back, and it had gone out, keeping him from going on this journey.
We talked about getting him some foul smelling concoction to ingest to fix it..
He would have never drank/eaten it.
I think we should have asked for it anyway. Just for fun.
Next time.

Strangely, I ran into a good friend of mine in the middle of Chinatown.
On a Sunday afternoon.
Honestly, what are the chances?
He told us about a candy store at the end of the little strip mall.
So many weird and fun things in there! And you could taste all of it!

I liked the way these looked.

Pop Rocks, tho!

I have another line drawn at this kind of shit.
I know it’s all over the place in Asia… When I go, I think I still might avoid it.
I mean.. Squid flavored peanuts?
Squid is one thing. Squid flavored?
Dude. No.

These are all over.

Jessica and I talked about getting a hotplate, but everything is written in Chinese..
It’s a little overwhelming.

Old Chinatown was super quaint.
This wall was across the street from the gate..

And this is the entrance.

There’s a lot going on here. All the time.
Pretty sure we watched a fat Chinese kid with OCD run top speed in flip flops across five intersections.
No judgments, just observation.

One of my favorite things about Chinatown is the amount of window displays.
Like.. A bakery with a miniatures window.
(p.s. MINATURES, Y’ALL!!!!!!!!)

There was fashion for days.
Some people just know how to work that shit.
I’ve always wished I was one of them..
Unfortunately, I probably need a stylist.
Check out these tights!

I wanted to take more pictures of people..
“Some NatGeo shit,” as my friend Kate said.
If I was more stealth.. Maybe.
Talk about unnerving.

One of the most phenomenal things about our day was the celebration that happened right in the middle of old Chinatown.
There was a side street that housed an old Catholic church..

The church was having it’s 115th birthday, and there was a parade.

An old Sicilian church parade down the middle of Chinatown!
I love Chicago!
They carried giant replicas of cake.

And Madonna herself.

I went to another bakery that had hotdog buns.
Have I talked about hotdogs here?
I fucking love hotdogs.
An unhealthy amount. Always have.
Chinese version of a Pig In A Blanket?
Yes, please, and thank you.

Also got another with beef curry inside.
It was this gelatinous mystery meat substance that I always appreciate in my Asian foods.
Jessica not so much.
(sorry about my linty bandaid thumb.)
(i’m gross a lot of the time.)
(and also can’t be trusted with knives.)

Seriously, with the bread, though.
So much bread.
Soooooo much bread this weekend.
I don’t think I’ve ever eaten that much bread in my whole life.
There was one time where I made like, a thousand grilled cheese sandwiches and ate nearly a loaf of white bread in the process.
That was after a bottle of vodka, though, so I can’t be held responsible.
What I CAN be held responsible for is going to an Eastside Mexican joint and forgetting I had sandwiches in the first place.
Nevermind the huge red “I (heart) Canada” sticker on the side of my face.
Oh, the choices of yesteryear.
Did you know that Canada won’t let you in the country if you’ve gotten a drunk driving ticket?